Avoiding Toxicity

Nothing rots and corrodes a parish like toxicity. What is toxicity? It is when there are divisive and control issues within the church. Sometimes the priest, sometimes the laity and sometimes both express these traits. Nevertheless, toxicity is detrimental to the life and wellbeing of the parish.

Toxicity is contagious and creates a bitter ailment that can spread through the parish like wildfire if left unchecked. That is exactly what Satan wants to take place. The nature of sin is to divide and when the devil creates division and “sides” he inflicts a wretched wound into the Body we call the Church.

How do we avoid such a terrible situation? How do we live a life that is mutually healthy for the clergy as well as the laity? How do we learn to live with our differences? The answers are really quit simple although many times challenging to do.

These are the traits of a healthy parish: We work together in a mutual and loving manner. We talk and communicate with each other, and treat each person with dignity, civility and respect. We avoid triangulation. We become honest with one another in love and affection, rather than through venomous gossip or the ugly need to be in control (get our way at all costs!).

We have to remember that we are One Body in Christ Jesus. When one part of the Body is sick, it makes the whole Body ill. We want to attend to those areas of pain and suffering, validate them and then address the illness directly. Occasionally this healthy method of dealing with conflict comes at a cost. Perhaps we lose a parishioner or a family. While that is the last thing we want to occur, sometimes its best for the layperson or even the clergy member to move on to another place, but before they leave we strive for reconciliation; otherwise we take the baggage from one place directly into another.

The Apostle Paul was constantly battling toxicity. He wanted to eradicate it through mutual love and unity in Christ.  It hurt him bitterly deep to witness division and disunity. He became an ongoing target of abuse and slander in some areas, but that didn’t matter to him. He was willing to give his very life for his love of the church. He wanted her whole and striving to live as One in Christ.

Can we as a church live as one? Can we avoid the devastating effects of toxicity? Can we feel safe in our church environment? Are we willing to let go of our own wants and needs and embrace our neighbor in love, whether we agree with them or not?

The answer to these questions lie within our spirits and willingness to live as wholesome examples in Christ. It’s up to us to model healthy behavior to the world and keep our focus on what is truly important – the Good News of Jesus Christ!