Blogging with Father John

Cutting away the Past, a Heavy and Burdensome Anchor

How often do we cling to the past with regret, remorse, guilt, grief or even nostalgia? The past is like a heavy and relentless anchor that when embraced and continually lived and wallowed in, becomes a heavy and unhealthy weight that keeps us from living life in today. Living in the past keeps us from moving forward in this precious life God has so richly and benevolently blessed us. Life is a gift that is meant to be lived with joy and anticipation of good things to come, not mired down in burdensome grief, remorse, loss or painful memories of days past. Yet we are human beings, and we struggle with life and difficult situations, hurts, pains, loss and memories that often haunt us. It is easy for us to live with regret, remorse, guilt and self-blame. It’s our human nature to have these feelings, and that is why we need to turn to God. Paul tells us in his letter to the Ephesians, “In Christ all things are possible.”

In I Peter 5: 8, the writer reminds us of Christ’s unconditional love for each of us. He writes, “ Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.” These profound and loving words give us hope in times of darkness and despair. They remind us that God loves us and that we don’t have to allow the past to destroy today. They give us comfort that Jesus is present with us in the here and now. However, we have to cut the rope that relentlessly ties us to the past in order to fully feel and know his presence. We can give and offer up all of our regrets, sorrows, remorse and spiritual sickness that are directly connected to yesterday to Christ, and he will relieve us of our burdens and heal our hearts.

Interestingly that same passage also refers to the “Evil One” who prowls around like a lion waiting to devour us. Living in the past will devour and ultimately destroy us, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and eventually physically. Often we allow ourselves to become consumed by the “what if’s,” and the “should haves, would haves and could haves.” In reality, those shameful thoughts are equivalent to chasing our tails which of course we will never catch. We simply live our lives in a vicious and unhealthy cycle or circle. Letting go and giving ourselves wholly, humbly and completely to the loving care of God is our way out of the dark and dank wilderness of yesterday. 

Let’s face it, we all make mistakes, bad decisions and poor choices in life. Some of us even relish and desire the “glory days” of our past, wishing to relive them. That’s called being human. I’m certainly guilty of all these, but beating myself up constantly or obsessively desiring to relive the “good old days” only serves to make me sick and live in a self-made hell of denial. Yet by living in this cycle, I will never experience the gifts and life found in today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is but a dream. All I really have is today. I can’t afford to beat myself up and chase the “What if’’s” or “Should haves” of the past. That only serves to make my life miserable today and creates anxiety, self-doubt and depression that flows over into tomorrow.

For some of us breaking the cycle of living in the past is extremely challenging and difficult, but not impossible. Learning to set mental and emotional boundaries, as well as  seeking a stronger and closer relationship to God is key. Self-awareness and holding ourselves accountable for our choices and actions today are an important part of cutting the obsession of longing for yesterday. Sometimes we just have to pray for the, “willingness to be willing.” 

Don’t be devoured by the roaring lion who prowls in the dark crevasses and creases of our brokenness, seeking to destroy our lives. Rather, allow the light and healing grace of God to flow through us and caress those broken, wounded and infected sores of yesterday. Allow the love and tender mercy of Christ to cut that binding rope and loose that heavy anchor that keeps us stuck in remorse, regret and self-blame. 

It is important to remember that we are never alone in this life, although there are times in which it certainly feels that way. Jesus promised the disciples before his ascension into heaven and to the Father, “He would be with them until the end of the ages.” So too will he be with us right here, right now in this very moment, today. Let go of the past for it is but a memory that we cannot change, and embrace the life we are given in the here and now.