Blogging with Father John

Grief, God’s Healing Storm Bringer

When Grief hits us, and believe me it impacts us all eventually, it strikes like a tornado whose path no one can predict. It packs a swirling wind velocity that varies in strength and power. Sometimes we see it coming, but often times it strikes with incredible force absent of any warning at all. Perhaps the sirens in our heart and mind are going off, yet we are powerless to do anything except brace for impact.

The painful winds of grief however are a natural human emotion brought on usually by some sort of loss. Perhaps its the sudden and unexpected death of a loved one, a pet or another kind of death, divorce and the dissipation of a marriage. With tragedy and brokenness comes grief, and like a tornado, we can’t predict its path, power or when or where it will touch down in our lives. However, one thing we know for certain, grief brings a deep sense of loss, hurt and pain, hitting us at the very core of our beings.

There are those who believe that there are specific stages in grief that we process in a methodical manner. However, this is not necessarily true. We vacillate between emotions in no certain order. We may even think we are finished grieving our loss only to be surprised at it’s unexpected onset once again. We may feel nothing for months, only to have grief rare its untimely head and knock us to our emotional knees. Anger may arise only to be followed by a bout of deep depression, guilt and emotional turmoil. Time may pass by and something as simple as a song on the radio may trigger painful emotions and heartache. 

Grief is like an emotional tornado in our lives, and even though it feels destructive and causes much pain, emptiness, loss and fear, that’s not it’s purpose at all. While it is certainly most unpleasant, and seemingly rips our lives apart, grief is actually God’s divine gift to us so that we might heal and move forward with life. Jesus said, “Life is for the living, not the dead.” He also said, “Let the dead bury the dead.” He’s telling us to move on and let the past be the past, and live our lives to their fullest in the present. Thus the true purpose of grief is to restore us to wholeness, strengthen our well being and bring the light of God’s healing grace into our broken hearts and mangled souls. As difficult as it is, grief is necessary component in our healing process. It provides us with a way to deal with and overcome the hurt and genuine loss we have experienced. It drives those painful emotions through us so that we may come through the storm and learn to live our lives again. 

However, the danger with grief comes when we become stuck in what is called morbid grief. This is when we refuse to let go of our loss, whatever it may be, and live in a perpetual cycle of unhealthy remorse, refusing to let go of our sorrow and pain. This is a vicious cycle we must all avoid. 

On Mount Horeb the prophet Elijah called out to God in loneliness, remorse, fear and despair as he was running from King Ahab and Jezzabel. He had just slain all of their false prophets and was now in hiding, experiencing emptiness, doubt and self-pity. He told God that he was the only true prophet left in all of Israel, and he was all alone. Elijah felt abandoned and was experiencing a sense of overwhelming grief. God then sent a mighty wind that cracked rocks, but God’s voice was not in the wind. God sent a storm of fire, but God’s voice was not in the fire. God sent a major earthquake, but God’s voice was not in the earthquake. Then there was sheer silence. It was in that silence that Elijah heard and experienced God. God’s presence in our grief is the same. We experience major earth shattering catastrophes in the very essence of our souls due to our loss, but it is in the sheer silence and stillness of our hearts that we suddenly feel God’s loving and healing presence. Like Elijah, in our grief we may not feel the presence of God, but God is there, speaking silent but healing words of love into our broken hearts.

It’s important for us to know that  it is absolutely alright and normal to cry, to hurt, to feel pain and loss. That is part of the healing process we must go through when we experience a serious loss in our lives. Its OK to grieve and carry those beautiful memories of days past with us. But God has given us a precious gift called life, and it is best lived with hope for a brighter today as well as tomorrow. Despite its hardships life is short, and we are blessed with God’s healing love and opportunity to live each and every day to its fullest, regardless of the unwelcome tornadoes that surface and ravage the landscape of our hearts.