Blogging with Father John

Mental Illness And Shameful Fear  

Mental Disabilities are all to often looked at as taboo, even in todays modern world. It’s a subject usually best left quiet in our society, especially for those who have a medical mental diagnosis. Those who suffer from various forms and degrees of mental disability are generally afraid to disclose or reveal their struggles due to the stigmatism created by our culture. People diagnosed with cancer or diabetes usually receive sympathy and genuine caring concern, while a person who reveals they have some from of mental illness are sometimes avoided like the plague, or even silently ostracized by the community. Apparently our culture watches way too many psycho thriller horror films created by Hollywood! 

Mental Illness is real, and like it or not exists in our society. Those who suffer from one of these life altering disabilities certainly didn’t ask for it, just like a person diagnosed with cancer didn’t put that disease on their Christmas list either. The brain is an organ just like the heart, liver or kidneys. It can become sick too. Yet those diagnosed with a mental disability often live under a cloud of shame and embarrassment out fear of rejection by others. Revealing a mental disease to an actual or potential employer, friends, family or a relationship is extremely frightening, as well as  intimidating since the reaction one receives in return is usually met with unfounded fear, denial or ambiguity. 

Unlike other illness that affect the body, mental disorders affect our neurological system, creating behavioral type issues. Some disorders even affect the physiological functions of the brain. Like people who suffer from other types of illnesses, those who suffer from mental illness, whether it be psychological, physiological or a combination of both, need compassion, nurturing, love and affirmation as well. It’s often a lonely and dark world for those with mental illness. Society simply doesn’t, or chooses not to understand the daily struggles a person goes through, and the fear of living in a world that views them as something to avoid or condemn. Of course this is not always the case, but it is much more the norm than not. Those who suffer from mental illness often feel like modern day lepers or untouchables.

Mental illness is difficult to live with each and every day. A person who suffers from mental sickness often feels as if they are on the outside of society looking in, and never a part of the life around them. They simply exist silently in a world of hopeless and helpless fear, anxiety and depression, wondering if they will ever experience the slightest form of acceptance. Unfortunately those who suffer from a mental disorder all too often live with that feeling of “Waiting for the next shoe to drop.”

There are many good medications today that are able to treat most mental illnesses, but since everyones brain chemistry is different, finding the right combination of pharmaceuticals and the correct dosages is not easy, and takes time. Often these drugs have undesirable side effects as well. Psychotherapy also plays a major role in learning to live a better and healthier life for the person who suffers from a mental disorder.  Depending on the severity of the illness and the diagnosis, often change is slow as new patterns of thinking need to develop. Change is difficult for many of us that don’t suffer from mental illness, but it is extremely challenging for those who do. At times its like fighting an uphill battle in three feet of mud. It’s slow, messy and takes constant, persistent and exhausting determination.  

Self-Esteem, self-worth and embarrassment are all too often the constant companions of those who are mentally ill. Questions, such as, “Why me?” constantly churn around in their daily thoughts. Loved ones and lifetime partners often don’t know how to accept or cope with their family member’s diagnosis and altered behavior. It is a lonely place when one feels they have little to no support from the ones they love. Sometimes they experience rejection, denial and even divorce. It’s difficult enough to deal with and accept the illness itself, but it is far worse when family members, spouses and close friends don’t understand and tell the person, “There’s nothing wrong with you,” or on the other hand they overreact, and make the person’s illness all about themselves and how it will affect their own lives. This kind of behavior from our loved ones creates so much shame, guilt and confusion for the person who suffers, especially if they are unable to work or continue with normal daily activities or household chores. Real or not, they often feel berated, experience hostile emotions from those close to them or abandoned, destined to a life of remorse, sorrow and pain. It’s a dark and bleak path without the support, compassion and understanding of the ones we love. 

According to the organization Mental Health in America (MIH), 1 in 5 Adults have a mental health condition. That's over 40 million Americans; more than the populations of both New York and Florida combined. 18% of adults in this country have some type of mental illness. Nearly half of those have a co-occuring substance abuse disorder. And 9.6% experience suicidal ideation. 

Those are staggering numbers! But we are not alone. There are many famous people who have accomplished great things in life, feats that have influenced our modern day world. Even in their illness they made great contributions to the fields of art, science, leadership and music and more. For example just to name a few, Abraham Lincoln suffered from severe depression, Steve Jobs suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, General Douglas MacArther was diagnoses with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Marilyn Monroe had Histrionic Personality Disorder, Michelangelo was diagnosed with Autism, Beethoven suffered from Bipolar disorder, writing one of his greatest pieces while in a severe state of mania. Van Gogh suffered from Bipolar Disorder and another great artist Andy Warhol was diagnosed with Autism. These men and women suffered deeply from their mental disorders yet went on to accomplish incredible and influential accomplishments that still influence our society today.

Still mental illness is a thief that often robs those who suffer of their self-worth, faith, identity and hope. Our mental health is important because those who suffer from an illness sometimes fall into the trap of real despair, dark depression, intense anxiety and their lives become one’s of hopeless and meaninglessness existence, with no sense of purpose in life, as well as abysmal emptiness. That’s no way to live, especially when dreams are suddenly shattered, jobs lost, marriages dissolved, financial issues occur and loneliness and despair sets in like never before. To make matters even worse a genuine sense of spiritual destitution occurs,  leaving one hollow in their soul and feeling utterly abandoned by God. 

These are heartbreaking situations, yet feelings that are in fact a reality for many who suffer from mental illness. There are those too in society who feel sorry for those with mental disorders, but usually do very little to show genuine compassion, affirmation or outreach. An, “I’ll keep you in my prayers often just doesn’t cut it.” People have their own lives to live and those who can’t keep up because they are mentally impaired are left behind, cast by the wayside, left feeling desperate, hopeless and helpless. Shame and remorse become a way of life, capped by a sense of self-loathing and personal failure.

Abandoned in a bleak world is no way to live. While resources for many mental illnesses are available, they are few and far between. For many of us who have mental disorders, it’s a harsh and lonely world that we exist in on a daily, even hourly basis. And while not all mental illnesses lead down this road, many do and those who exist in this world suffer in harsh silence.