Relationships: Modeling the Life of God...As best we can!

Healthy relationships and our connection to others are important to our lives. Whether in the context of the larger community, or with a special person, relationships are absolutely vital for our psychological and emotional needs; as well as for our spiritual growth and nurture. Humanity was not meant to live as individuals, in isolation. Even the Desert Fathers of the early church who lived as hermits in their cells, gathered together in communal worship on occasion. The very nature of God is community, for God is Trinity. The mystery of God is three diverse “persons” yet one complete and holy substance. We are made in the image of God and therefore have the same need to be in community with each other, as well as one substance (in the theological sense of the word) with those we love. Connection to others is an essential and core need that we all have and desire. However, we often find sharing our lives in community or in communion with one another difficult and a double edged sword.

We exist in a broken and imperfect world. The nature of sin is to divide and cut us off from God, our inner selves and each other. All too often while we find ourselves desperately craving communion and relationship with others, we also find ourselves struggling with the demands of what it means to live in those relationships. Since we are not God and will never be able to live a life in perfect communal harmony in this world, nor achieve the ability to completely give of ourselves wholly and unconditionally, the struggle with relationships is an ongoing and constant tension; we deeply desire communion with each other, yet at the same time struggle with the preservation of the self, and our own needs and identity. The constant human struggle to find the perfect balance between the self and the other is a continuous and ongoing challenge. This is the exact reason why personal relationships and life in community should be built on the sure and solid foundation - Christ Jesus.

Jesus was God’s outreach mission to this divisive and struggling creation; a creation that experienced the “Great Fall” in the Garden of Eden. What was once a perfect communion between humanity and God, and humanity within its own context, became a split and self-centered need for individuality. Here lies the real crux and root of our struggle with relationships. We were innately created to live in perfect harmony with one another, yet because of the divisive nature of sin we long to grow as selfish individuals with the sole desire to have our own needs met.

God longs for us to live in perfect communion with him and each other. Jesus’ mission was a sacrifice that brought to each of us the opportunity for reconciliation, renewal and forgiveness. In Christ there is a new creation which means there is a new hope and a renewed opportunity for communion. When we place Jesus at the center of our lives and build our relationships on him we find that we have a strong foundation to live and exist in community. With Christ as our sure foundation our relationships in this lifetime and world, while still far from perfect, are continuously renewed and reconciled. The miracle that we experience is the ongoing ability to live in a healthy, meaningful and nurturing relationship with each other, despite the constant struggle with our self- centered tendencies. The key here is Christ Jesus. The key is centering ourselves in him so that we are better able to center our thoughts and actions on others. The key is losing ourselves in Christ, so that we may find ourselves living a life of unconditional love for others. The death of the individual self brings on the resurrected self. A new identity is born and expressed in selfless love and a desire to sacrifice ourselves for not only the other, but the greater community as well. If we all live our lives in this unselfish manner then we find our own needs met in ways that go beyond our superficial desires. We also find ourselves living a life in community that is modeling the community of God.