Am I Beyond the Reach of God's Grace?

The young man stood in the center of the barren living room staring at the dirty and dusty hardwood floors. They were sticky from all the spilled beer, and his bare feet stuck to its surface if he stood in one place too long. The smell of the air reeked of stale beer and old cigarettes. The walls, once full of vibrant life portrayed in photographs now lay bleak and desolate. Only memories of the good times of the past existed, now hopelessly vanished from time. A mountain of empty beer cans ironically lay neatly stacked in the corner of the room as if they were a sacred monolith to his god.

The young man’s hands shook as he took another swig of his beer. The shakes were awful. If he didn’t get some alcohol in his system soon he would begin the violent tremors that foreshadowed the DT’s. He hated his life and what it had become. He never envisioned his twenties as this hellish wasteland. His appearance was that of someone twice his young age, although he wouldn’t know since he refused to look in the mirror at the horror he had become over these past few years.

He moved to the bathroom and picked up the razor whose blade hadn’t been changed for nearly a year. The toothpaste tube was torn open as he tried to get every ounce he could from the container. Then for the very first time, in what seemed like an eternity, he looked in the mirror and loathed what stared back at him.  A tear rolled down his cheek. “Life wasn’t fair!” he exclaimed as he struggled to choke down that first sip of much needed alcohol. My how he hated and loved this stuff, both at the same time. He felt he was beyond the point of help and lost forever, condemned to wander this alcoholic desert forever.

He moved to the bedroom scrapping together pennies in order to buy his next drink. Who would ever have thought that a penny could be worth so much? But for those who suffer from addiction one cent was worth a million dollars. He stumped his toe on the unmade bed. Who knew the last time the sheets had been washed or changed. But the young man didn’t care. As he let out a few colorful explicatives he took another sip of the valuable liquid that would enable him to get through yet another worthless day. This was hell he thought. It had to be, for no existence could be this bad.

There are times in which we all feel lost, as if our lives are out of the reach of God’s grace. Isolation takes over and we feel all alone in a world that has so many cruel twists and turns. Anger rules our lives and we find our resentments cut us off from the light of God.  Experiencing this kind of self-isolation and bitterness towards life is a terrible way to exist. Perhaps like the young man in the story we feel abandoned by God and misunderstood by the world, seeking something to fill the hole that exists in our soul. Perhaps we feel alienated from God and a spiritual cast away.

But there is good news! God’s hope in us is never lost. Not even for the young man in the story. While we may give up on God, God never gives up on us. Jesus experienced complete abandonment from the Father so that he might know the depths of despair that we sometimes find ourselves.

The young man in the story would go on to get sober and find a new profound relationship with God. He realized that it was not God who abandoned him, but he who abandoned God.

Why are we so ready to jump ship when we feel God is not listening to our prayers? Why do we take the attitude of unworthiness of God’s grace? Perhaps grace is just too good to be true. We can’t buy it or earn it, we simply have to accept it, as the young man in the story would eventually discover.

One of our greatest character flaws is nothing less than selfishness and self-centeredness. We are a people who want what we want when we want it. Modern technology has only intensified this defect of character. Self will run riot easily takes place in our heads when we feel like God is allusive or simply not present. Occasionally we turn to other substances such as alcohol or drugs in order to fill the desolate places in our lives.

A God center life takes daily practice. It doesn’t just happen by snapping our fingers. How can we expect to communicate with God in prayer if we only pray when we need something? A life grounded in God helps us overcome the selfish needs that often drive our lives. A relationship with Christ helps us conquer our resentments and allows us to stop resisting and freely accept God’s loving grace.

No matter where you find yourself today, remember this: Grace is always available. It is freely given yet must be freely received. Finally the real truth is that absolutely none of us are beyond the grasp of God’s grace.