Change And The Fear That Accompanies It

Growing up I changed schools six times! One would think I was well adapted to change, but I’m not. It was frightening going from a place of security to a new place where I knew no one. It is the same with churches. Leaving behind the familiar and jumping into the unknown creates anxiety and stress.

Change is difficult for many of us. Whether it is moving from one city to another or simply moving across town is sometimes frightening. We are creatures of habit and structure. We like the security of the familiar (even if it is unhealthy for us). When that accustomed cycle is broken we often feel anxious and fearful.  There is a foreboding feeling of the unknown.

The Motivational psychologist Heidi Grant Halvosrson says, “Americans have a well-earned reputation for risk taking, but these days we are something of a timid lot. Our reluctance to stick our collective neck out has everything to do with the psychology of motivation -- specifically, how we think about the goals we pursue. The problem, in a nutshell, is simply this: when making decisions, many of us have been focused much more on what we have to lose than on what we might gain.”

We are a reluctant and fear driven lot. Often we are afraid to make decisions because we are afraid we may make the wrong one. Rather than taking action and even risk we simply freeze. Change brings about fear and fear is at the root of all of our problems in life.

Dr. Halvorson goes on to say, “So how can you learn to embrace risk for the sake of your future happiness, particularly when risk taking doesn't come to you naturally? The answer is surprisingly simple: When you think about making a change, focus only on what you have to gain, and banish all thoughts of what you might lose.

For example, you could take a few moments to list all the ways in which you will benefit by making the change. Repeat them to yourself when you feel the fear kicking in. Most importantly, shut out any thoughts about what could go wrong -- just refuse to give them your attention. With practice, this thought-training will become easier and eventually automatic. Taking a chance, believe it or not, can become second nature to you, if you think about your goals in the right way.”

So when change arises in our lives, welcome or not, set the fear aside as best as we can and accept the changes in life. This doesn’t mean to blindly charge head first into a situation we might find unhealthy. Rather many changes are good for us and allow us to grow and gain more healthy experiences. A life without change is impossible. Therefore it is best to face our fears, weigh the consequences of change from a position of health, and then make the right and logical decision as what to do next. Don’t allow the fear to paralyze us or cause us to run. If we allow fear to rule our lives we might just miss a golden opportunity.